Sunday 22 May 2022
DutchNews podcast: The Nokia Pigeon Post Archive Edition

DutchNews podcast: The Nokia Pigeon Post Archive Edition

It turns out Mark Rutte doesn’t have the most unreliable memory in the Netherlands: that accolade goes to his trusty old Nokia 301. We digest the fall-out from Nokiagate and ask what happened to Rutte’s promises of a more open style of government. Collective paralysis also seems to have afflicted the coronavirus response, with health experts warning of an autumn lockdown as minister Ernst Kuipers tells businesses to make their own pandemic control plans. The CBS warns of economic stagnation... More >


DutchNews podcast – The Volendam Aural Torture Chamber Edition – Week 19 2022

DutchNews podcast – The Volendam Aural Torture Chamber Edition – Week 19 2022

The shiny new administrative culture was put back in its box this week as Mark Rutte and Sigrid Kaag roamed the parliamentary corridors drumming up support for their spring budget package. In the debating chamber, parents who were targeted in the childcare benefits scandal walked out as a coalition MP refused to take questions during his maiden speech. Eleven gangsters were jailed in a gruesome case in which a sea container was fitted out as a makeshift torture chamber. Erik... More >


DutchNews podcast – The Drunken Baby Bird Liberation Edition – Week 18 2022

DutchNews podcast – The Drunken Baby Bird Liberation Edition – Week 18 2022

The women take over this week as we remember the dead of World War II and celebrate freedom, while three peregrine falcon chicks escape their eggs on a ledge high above the Rijksmuseum. We ask can Hugo de Jonge solve the housing crisis, as he did coronavirus, or would he perhaps be better off trying to sort out the mess at Schiphol airport? The Netherlands has tumbled in the annual press freedom index but is there a link to the... More >


DutchNews podcast – The Grey Monk’s Eyeopener Edition – Week 17 2022

DutchNews podcast – The Grey Monk’s Eyeopener Edition – Week 17 2022

More evidence this week that the Netherlands is recovering from the coronavirus pandemic as people try to offload the jigsaw puzzles and DVDs they bought during lockdown on the King’s Day street markets. The government has a clear-out of its munitions depots to support Ukraine’s war effort, as Ukrainian refugees boost net migration in the first quarter of 2022. King Willem-Alexander finally makes it to Maastricht, while Amsterdam keeps up its Koningsdag tradition of imposing an alcohol limit that everyone... More >


DutchNews podcast – The Pull the Gilles Beschoor Plug Edition – Week 16 2022

DutchNews podcast – The Pull the Gilles Beschoor Plug Edition – Week 16 2022

This week the PvdA had to find a new leader after Lilianne Ploumen decided she was unsuited to the job and quit as an MP. But the real crisis was at D66, where Sigrid Kaag was undermined by the party’s woefully misjudged handling of a sexual harassment inquiry. Germany angered the islanders of Schiermonnikoog by announcing plans to drill for gas in the Waddenzee. Feyenoord tore up their plans for a new stadium on the Maas and Erik ten Hag... More >


DutchNews podcast – The Passion of the Hugo Edition – Week 14 2022

DutchNews podcast – The Passion of the Hugo Edition – Week 14 2022

Former health minister Hugo de Jonge tried to extricate himself from the face mask scandal this week by defending a deal that he officially had nothing to do with. Another former minister, Stef Blok, is deployed to speed up the confiscation of Russian assets as the number of Ukrainian refugees reaches 22,000. Soaring fuel prices drive inflation up to its highest level in 1976, while economic uncertainty puts the brakes on the housing market. In football news, Ajax coach Erik... More >


DutchNews podcast – The Planning Putin’s Popcorn Party Edition – Week 13 2022

DutchNews podcast – The Planning Putin’s Popcorn Party Edition – Week 13 2022

[Apology: unfortunately this week’s recording was disturbed by occasional drilling noises. We have passed the workman’s details on to Maurice de Hond.] Ukrainian president Volodymyr Zelenskyy was the toast of Brielle this week as he commemorated the 450th anniversary of the town’s liberation from Spain. In his address to the Tweede Kamer he also called on the Dutch to send more weapons, stop buying Russian gas and lift the handbrake on his country’s wish to join the EU. Zwolle is... More >


DutchNews podcast – The Exploding Sluices and Vanishing Statues Edition – Week 12 2022

DutchNews podcast – The Exploding Sluices and Vanishing Statues Edition – Week 12 2022

Disgrace and disappointment dominate a week in which Hugo de Jonge again dodged questions about his part in a deal to buy substandard face masks that made three enterprising young lobbyists €20 million richer. His successor as health minister, Ernst Kuipers, warned that the pandemic isn’t over but we’re going to remove all the restrictions anyway. A book that accused a Jewish notary of betraying Anne Frank’s family is withdrawn from sale after an independent report dismantles its central claims.... More >


DutchNews podcast – The Dreadlock Him Up Edition – Week 11 2022

DutchNews podcast – The Dreadlock Him Up Edition – Week 11 2022

We do our best to help you digest the alphabet soup that is the local election results, including the sad news that Jesus will not be setting Rotterdam’s municipal tax rates for the next four years. The flu season kicks off just as the last coronavirus restrictions are lifted and Ernst Kuipers puts his faith in the common sense of the Dutch people. The Netherlands is struggling to meet its climate change targets or find an estimated €90 bn of... More >


DutchNews podcast – The War On Limburg Edition – Week 10 2022

DutchNews podcast – The War On Limburg Edition – Week 10 2022

As war continues to rage in Ukraine, we focus this week on a campaign closer to home: the municipal elections on March 16. There’s rage in The Hague too as foreign affairs minister Sigrid Kaag goes AWOL in faraway Maastricht. The government brings in measures to relieve the effect of the war on living costs, but not until July. Luckily it’s wasting no time in taking down the coronavirus restrictions just as infections crank up in the wake of Carnaval.... More >


DutchNews podcast – The Uitwaaien Olympics Edition – Week 8 2022

DutchNews podcast – The Uitwaaien Olympics Edition – Week 8 2022

A massive upheaval of the European postwar order and the invasion of a sovereign state puts a damper on the Netherlands’ coronavirus “freedom day”. Politicians roundly condemn Vladimir Putin’s incursion in Ukraine, but only after Mark Rutte makes time to chat about his car on a TV talk show. Three storms caused record amounts of damage to cars and buildings and left four people dead. A suspiciously named brand of gin triggers ‘No Go’ letters from Yoko Ono and an... More >


DutchNews podcast: The Freedom for Squirrels Party Edition

DutchNews podcast: The Freedom for Squirrels Party Edition

Freedom Day is almost here, and what finer way to celebrate than by reviving the biggest superspreading events of the last two years: Carnaval in Brabant and reopening nightclubs? Confusion abounded at political party Volt as one of its MPs was suspended over allegations of inappropriate behaviour shortly after being the target of online abuse. Ireen Wüst brings down the curtain on her illustrious skating career as the Dutch team scoop up medals in Beijing. Storm Eunice brings chaos to... More >


DutchNews podcast – The Geubbels and Göbbels Edition – Week 6 2022

DutchNews podcast – The Geubbels and Göbbels Edition – Week 6 2022

Following the cancellation of TV talent show The Voice, football club Ajax and the Dutch parliament are the latest institutions to face accusations of sexual harassment. The Dutch government brings forward plans to relax the pandemic measures and sketched out its strategy for ‘living with the virus’. Energy prices drive inflation up to its highest level in 40 years, but are wages keeping pace? Also, we explain why Big Brother is watching you on discount store cameras and how a... More >


DutchNews podcast – The Jeff’s Hef Ophef Edition – Week 5 2022

DutchNews podcast – The Jeff’s Hef Ophef Edition – Week 5 2022

We sift through the wreckage of a week when Storm Corrie battered the coastline, a German cargo ship smashed up a wind farm and the cold case team investigating the betrayal of Anne Frank ran into strong headwinds. The government trashed its plans for a 2G coronavirus pass just as half a million vaccine certificates are destined for the shredder. And billionaire Jeff Bezos sparked uproar with plans to dismantle a Rotterdam landmark to make way his gargantuan new yacht.... More >


DutchNews podcast – The Ambushed by Napoleons Edition – Week 4 2021

DutchNews podcast – The Ambushed by Napoleons Edition – Week 4 2021

The Netherlands went into Schrödinger’s Lockdown this week, as venues everywhere opened up until 10pm while their owners fumed about staying closed. A shadowy transaction at the Binnenhof caught the eye of Twitter observers, while in the debating chamber Ernst Kuipers raised eyebrows with his claims about 3G passes. Dubious claims also put paid to the career of a VVD political adviser after Geert Wilders dug up her well documented history as a member of a terrorist group. In other... More >


DutchNews podcast: The Old Politics Die Hard Edition

DutchNews podcast: The Old Politics Die Hard Edition

Any hopes of a fresh start to 2022 are well and truly cancelled. RTL pulls the plug on its most successful TV show, the Voice of Holland, as allegations emerge of widespread sexual abuse. The first parliamentary debate of the new cabinet term begins with angry exchanges as MPs round on Geert Wilders for his language towards Muslims and women. Budget institute Nibud calculates that everyone will be poorer this year, but the cabinet still wants to break the link... More >


DutchNews podcast – The PowerPoint Breakdown Edition – Week 2 2022

DutchNews podcast – The PowerPoint Breakdown Edition – Week 2 2022

A year after Mark Rutte’s four-party coalition resigned in disgrace, a new cabinet of four parties, led by Mark Rutte, promises a fresh start and a “new elan”. Within days two ministers have tested positive for coronavirus and the justice minister is under fire for not bothering to enforce the rules. Departing economic affairs minister Stef Blok drops a stink bomb in Groningen on his way out, revealing that gas production in the earthquake-ridden province will have to double. New... More >


DutchNews podcast – The Ophef of the Year Awards 2021 Edition

DutchNews podcast – The Ophef of the Year Awards 2021 Edition

Special guest and celebrity roof gardener Molly Quell joins us for the traditional celebration of online outrage, political chicanery and flash-in-the-pan fame that is the DutchNews ophef awards. We have 11 instantly forgettable scandals for you to choose from, but in true Dutch fashion only four of them actually count. Look back in astonishment at a year of ministerial mishaps, penis-shaped cakes, QR codes for dead dictators, unlikely online matchmakers and abstinent Euro-rockers. And don’t forget to vote for your... More >


DutchNews podcast – The So Sad To See Hugo Edition – Week 49 2021

DutchNews podcast – The So Sad To See Hugo Edition – Week 49 2021

Eleven months, eight resignations and more than 8,000 coronavirus deaths since the Dutch government resigned, a new cabinet looks set to take office just in time for the Christmas recess. Schools will not be finishing early for the holidays, however, despite the threat of the Omicron variant and the advice of the Outbreak Management Team. The booster campaign picks up speed as the EU decides that covid passports will expire after 9 months for people who have only had two... More >


DutchNews podcast – The Oppepkoffie O’Macron Ophef Edition

DutchNews podcast – The Oppepkoffie O’Macron Ophef Edition

Coronavirus cases are flying high but the big news this week was about two quarantining tourists who were barred from flying home and forced to spend the night in a stinking toilet in Groningen. Hugo de Jonge promises to give everyone over 60 a booster jab by Christmas as the cabinet comes under fire again for its sluggish vaccination programme. The coalition talks look to be creeping towards a conclusion as speculation begins about the ministerial merry-go-round. And completing a... More >