NOS: More April fools

After having nearly been taken in by Diergaarde Blijdorp zoo which announced it was going to muzzle its sharks and all but getting the spades out to dig up Nazi loot in the dunes at Zandvoort, NOS lists this years’ crop.

Cracker manufacturers Bolletje have invented a cracker for left handed people. After having made a little slit in the cracker so they could be lifted out of the packet more easily it struck Bolletje that this might cause a problem for left handed cracker lovers. This is nonsense of course because Bolletje crackers are round. Meanwhile, the manufacturer’s name has been mentioned three times in this article as a result of this clever publicity campaign.
The national pet information centre ( ! ) announced that a dog with cat characteristics has been born. Some cat genes were replaced by dog genes creating a watchdog which uses a cat tray. Handy.
Gordon, Gerard Joling, Jeroen van der Boom and René Froger are looking for a fifth ‘Topper’. Aspiring Toppers can audition via webcam and the jury, comprised of the other Toppers, will select a candidate each week until the grand finale when the final Topper will be revealed.
Local authorities Aa and Hunze are putting cows out to graze along side the public roads, including at night. ‘We are not anticipating any problems as we have put signs up’, municipal executive Wassink said.
Deadly volleyball rivals Dynamo and Alterno, both from Apeldoorn, are going to merge. Press agency ANP and other media were happy to print the news but the next day a Dynamo spokesman denied the story and said he had ‘wanted to put the spotlights on the sport and that’s what happened.’
Diergaarde Blijdorp zoo is going to spray paint a polar bear cub today. The cub will be turned a light shade of blue in order to promote VicksBlue which is sponsoring the animal. According to the zoo, the contract states that the cub has to change colour several times a year. ‘We will do it in an animal friendly way. We sedate him and then spray him very carefully using animal friendly paint’, the zoo’s pr people said.
A new species has been discovered in the woods between Hilversum and Baarn: a hedgehog with a pointed snout and a long tail which makes a whistling sound. Walkers in the area have filmed the animal. Conservation organisation Natuurmonumenten is asking people who have sighted the animal to contact them.
Led lights will be installed in the water on part of the Elfsteden skating marathon route, Leeuwarden local council announced in a press statement. The skaters will be able to see where they are going and not be blinded by the lights as has happened on previous occasions. The last Elfstedentocht was in 1997.
This is an unofficial translation

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