The problem is the crossing of cultures and borders, it has always happened, it is the next generation that suffers.

Marriages in those countries are more than often organised and most young ladies in those countries expect it if not rely on it - if not a girl simply is unable to get married.

Having said that, it is not acceptable in most of the west and certainly not in the Netherlands, so what should be done?

This system helps but it will also cause some ugly confrentations. The fix will take time and require some serious courage.

My view is that immigrants on arrival must accept a contract that includes legally binding commitment from the immigrant to recognize and support the existing cultural norms and standards and this is the key - that their children have the right to be protected under those norms and standards. Of course if they want to get married back in the "old country" they are welcome. Breach of this contract should result in termination of residency and deportation.

Also just so you all know, I am Dutch or Dutch ancenstry, chose to be a Muslim since at 17 many, many years ago and I now live in Morocco for my retirement by choice.

By Solkhar | May 20, 2009 1:59 PM

many of these poor young girls are literally sold into marriage, often to old men, we much dtop this, the children man the children

By adhd | May 20, 2009 4:55 PM

Solkhar's suggestion appears very sensible at first sight - until one considers the nebulous expression "norms and standards".

There's a fundamental contradiction between inviting immigrants whose "norms and standards" are clearly incompatible with the host country's, and then demanding a contractual undertaking to comply with the latter.

Here in Canada, the government of British Columbia is about to reduce this contradiction ad absurdum by means of a polygamy trial which will pit the long-standing criminal prohibition against bigamy against the more recent constitutional right to freedom of religion.

The irony is that the test case targets two leaders of a tiny marginal religious community in southeastern B.C., when there are hundreds of millions of Muslims throughout the world for whom polygamy is clearly within acceptable religious "norms and standards".

Muslim practitioners of polygamy have been allowed to take up residence in Canada, and then been denied the right to bring with them any of their immediate family but the first wife and her offspring.

The essential problem is precisely that our Western norms and standards are not based on any comprehensive and consistent philosophy of social harmony, but rather on a patchwork of narrow, sectarian taboos so entrenched that they are never subjected to serious public analysis or debate.

What IS the rationale for suppression of multilateral marriages or incestuous relations among consenting adults? For that matter, what is the rationale for the "war on [some] drugs"?

It appears to be simply that government cannot trust individual citizens to make such choices, and so reserves them for "Big Brother".

Ironically, this is exactly the "rationale" of the Muslim paterfamilias in forcing his daughter into an arranged marriage.

Until the West secularizes and rationalizes its own social policies, this clash of cultures is nothing more than one sect's mumbo jumbo against another's. And in such a contest, the West cannot win, because its stance is less consistent and enjoys much weaker support among its "beneficiaries".

By otropogo | May 20, 2009 7:18 PM